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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29161785">Sideways</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafeinthemoon93/pseuds/cafeinthemoon93'>cafeinthemoon93</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Soldiers, Children, Doctor!Reader, Enemies, Enemies to Lovers, Enemy Lovers, F/M, Forbidden Love, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Kid - Freeform, Mangekyou Sharingan, Parenthood, Sharingan, Shinobi, Shinobi Politics (Naruto), Shinobi War, Uchiha!Reader, Warring States Period (Naruto)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:41:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29161785</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafeinthemoon93/pseuds/cafeinthemoon93</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Life seemed to have no value during the Warring States Period, whether it was an adult’s or a child’s one. You, a respected doctor among the Uchiha clan, had your principles constantly challenged by the violent politics maintained by the elders with the consent of the current head, Tajima, a man who represented the exact opposite of what you defended - and the shadow of someone you once knew and loved.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Uchiha Tajima/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sooo this idea was wandering around my head for several days and I finally had some time to write it down! At first I found it funny because I thought there were no one else left for me to simp for and then Madara's dad appears wildly in my way and here I am writing something quick and emotional to him and hoping you enjoy it XD</p><p>NOTES</p><p>- Mentions to fight, injuries, blood<br/>- Physical suffering<br/>- Painful memories</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
<p></p><div class=""><p> </p><p>
      <strong>
        <em>“How can you criticize</em>
      </strong>
    </p></div><div class=""><p>
      <strong>
        <em>When you're not here to compromise?</em>
      </strong>
    </p></div><div class=""><p>
      <strong>
        <em>Words fade as time goes by</em>
      </strong>
    </p></div><div class=""><p>
      <strong>
        <em>Without you, without you “</em>
      </strong>
    </p></div><div class=""><p>
      <strong>
        <em>(The Birthday Massacre, Sideways)</em>
      </strong>
    </p><p> </p></div><div class=""><p>That task would be nothing but the same as all the previous ones that you performed if it wasn’t for this detail: your patient that time was the head’s eldest son, the little Madara Uchiha. And unlike the previous times when you were called by regular ninja to use your healing techniques, this time the boy’s father came in person to request your services.</p></div><div class=""><p>Though you’ve had shinobi preparation since your youth, you were never seen so often at the battlefield alongside your Uchiha fellows: you were more of a doctor than a warrior, and your talents with healing and natural medicine were acknowledged by the whole clan, so that you would only fight when it was strictly necessary. You’ve saved countless lives with your abilities, and that was enough for you.</p></div><div class=""><p>But there was something you just could not accept: the fact that children were still sent to fight the adult people’s battles, and now it seemed that their age has been decreasing. Knowing that the younger the child, the harder it was to save them was something that you never overcame, and sometimes you were too loud about it. This somehow contributed to your fame, and some people – elders specially – did not sympathize with you. Despite that, your work was essential to the existence of the clan, so no one had the audacity to lay their hands on you.</p></div><div class=""><p>With Madara’s father, Tajima, things were even more complicated.</p></div></div><div class="">
  <p>You were known to each other since you were little. You could say you were friends, as close as brothers, when you were children, but this feeling would turn into something deeper when you were teenagers. Since your parents were friends of each other, the idea of a marriage to unite both families didn’t sound strange to them; however, the circumstances separated your ways, and as you remained single and dedicated all your time to your work, Tajima married someone else, became the head of the Uchiha and fathered five children.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Knowing him as you did, you always carried some hope that things would be different from the moment he succeeded his father and the Uchiha – the adults and the children – would finally see good, pacific days with new politics and rules. But, again, destiny had other plans for you and your people: whether because he believed his predecessor’s ideals or because he hadn’t enough influence among the elders, Tajima chose to keep things as they were, and children were kept being sent to war, and with the constant conflicts with the Senju and other clans you seemed to work more than ever.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Those days the altercations with the Senju were causing you more damage than usual, and you’ve been occupied as you weren’t in months. You were also aware that Tajima’s kids – the ones who were left, Madara and Izuna – were fighting by his side, the example the other men needed to take their own kids with them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>That night you were trying not think of this and to concentrate in preserving your own chakra to use it in favor of the injured ones and to lead the group of medical shinobi that were there with you. However, all your efforts were thrown out of the window when someone came to your room.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You didn’t need to see the intruder’s face to know it was him. Just the way he arrived was enough to tell you: the fact that he didn’t mind knocking first, the loud, desperate steps, his heavy breath, a sign that something unexpected – and terrible – happened before his eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You turned to him and need all your strength to not scream with what you saw.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The man you had there was the Tajima you knew, but somehow he looked like someone else. He seemed older than the last time you’ve met – well, he <em>was</em> older, just like you. There were some gray hair where once it was all black; on the tanned skin of his face, the sun seemed to have left deep marks, as he spent the last days under its light leading his people to war; the lines around his mouth and forehead, some inconvenient heirloom from his father, were now visible even in his blank face. Maybe his dark eyes, partially covered by his hair, were the only thing that remained unaltered, but you were afraid of looking into them for too long and find out that even them were no longer the same.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>All of this was captured by your eyes in a blink, as a shadow of a thought instead of a conscious exam. And all were soon overshadowed by the shocking way in which Tajima appeared in front of you: his clothes, already dark, were soaked by something you knew it was blood, and so were his hands.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You didn’t need to hear his first words to see that the situation was urgent: the desperation was visible in his eyes, almost pushing you back to the chair from which you just stood up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>- What is it? – you required.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>- It’s my son, Madara – the man replied, his voice disappearing between one sigh and another – He was severely injured! He needs your help, y/n-san! – he took an unconscious step toward you – Please… save him!</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His words were loud and clear, but you acted as you didn’t understand them at first: you took a moment to take your equipment and follow him. It wasn’t that your feelings got in the way: to speak the truth, you didn’t feel anything at all when you heard them. Nor angry, nor fear, nor shock. Nothing. That man was just another person asking for help, and that boy was only one more victim that needed your services. Or this is what you kept telling yourself while you followed his father through the area of the compound destined to medical treatment of the soldiers.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You didn’t exchanged a word while you ran: it was a waste of time and energy. You had nothing to talk to each other. Not after all that time. Everything you had to say was already said, when he came to ask for your help and you accept it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Tajima was just ahead of you. With good reasons, he was on a rush; if you slowed down just a little bit, he would leave you behind. He was at the same time near and far from you: at some moments, you were so close that you swore you could see blood staining the white in the Uchiha crest on his back or his hair growing on his nape, suggesting that he had no time to keep it shaved during that campaign; other times, he seemed to be nothing but a shadow in your way, one which you had to follow.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>One from which you could not flee.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You followed Tajima to the place Madara is. You two entered the room, and one of the first measures you took was to tell all the presents to leave you and the boy's father alone with him. When everything was ready, you started to work.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
<p></p><div class=""><p> </p><p>When you finally reached the place where the boy was, Tajima almost destroyed the door with his bare hand when he slipped it aside. He stormed inside the room and you followed him, but for a second you lingered in the doorway.</p></div><div class=""><p>Nothing in that room differed from the others where injured soldiers were resting or receiving treatment, except for the things you saw beyond the obvious ones. That boy lying on the futon with a bandage wrapped around his chest while agonizing and sweating was Madara – Tajima’s son; the people who were around him were not just his partners, but also his family and direct subordinates of his father. And the man who fell on his knees beside the futon was not just any father, but the clan’s head. The man who carried this child with him to the battlefield. Who exposed him to what he was getting through now.</p></div><div class=""><p>The man you once loved.</p></div></div><div class="">
  <p>When Tajima turned to you, you saw everything you expected to see when you first looked at him: the lines of worry on his face; the redness in his black eyes that was not his Sharingan, but the sign of hours without a moment of rest; the blood on his clothing that he got while carrying his son all over the way to the place where he was now. Beside that, you saw what you didn’t want to see there: that glimmer of relief that he couldn’t hide, that said how happy he was for you to have responded to his call; that slight curve that appeared on the corner of his mouth, an imitation of a smile that he wanted to give you because you came with him, because you were there.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Because you said yes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>In other times, the first thing you would do was to hug each other as he would explain the situation and you’d immediately start to work. Now the only thing you had for him was the brief look you gave him that soon turned to the injured boy before you.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Tajima’s voice was harsh despite his efforts to control it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>- Y/n-san, you…</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You didn’t mind the other shinobi’s presence and interrupted him without even looking.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>- Everybody out! – you commanded as you prepared your tools – The boy’s father is the only person I want here until further notice!</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You felt Tajima’s eyes on you as you sanitized your hands and heard the steps of the other men leaving the place without questioning your order. If there was something you were always proud about yourself, that was you command voice, something essential to a doctor like you. When there was none but you and Tajima with the boy, you knelt before his futon and started to work.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Things were not going well to Madara. You didn’t need to touch his forehead to see that he was burning in fever because of the wound that remained opened and untreated for too long. When you unwrapped the improvised aid around his tiny body, he shivered; if it was because of pain or anything else, you didn’t want to know. Tajima suffocated a scream beside you. You ordered him to sanitize his hands right now and he obeyed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was an ugly thing, what he got there: a deep cut under his chest that would go from one side to the other, something made with a specially sharp sword, an expensive weapon that only someone from a privileged clan like the Senju could afford.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>- I will clean this to know its exactly aspect – you explained as you took clean sheets from the suitcase you brought with you – Hold him. The less he moves, the better.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Madara was half conscious and you had no ways to know the amount of pain he was enduring, but it surely was great judging by the roar that came from his throat. But you had the firmness to finish the cleaning despite those noises right in your ears. You threw the dirty sheets aside and told Tajima to step back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>- I will start the healing now. It will take time.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The look you gave him before activating your chakra said what your mouth refuse to, and what he already knew. That children were harder to save. And that he couldn’t expect things to be different with Madara just because he was his son.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You’ve put your hands united right above the wound, and the greenish light that emanated from them illuminated the entire room. You closed your eyes and took deep, long breaths as your chakra left your hands to reach the boy’s body, touching every cell, bringing them back to their original state and accelerating their reproduction, so that the unnatural gap among them would slowly disappear.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You didn’t know how long you’ve been there. Sometimes it felt like five minutes; other times, it was like you’ve always lived in that room. You no longer knew what was that place, who was that person you were trying to save, why you were so worried, why your hands were trembling. You no longer felt your surroundings, no longer acknowledged your own presence. The only thing you felt was your chakra.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>That was the state you always needed to reach if you wanted to see your efforts’ result. Nothing – not even <em>yourself</em> – should be in the way of your chakra’s hands and the patient’s decease. Your heart should contain only one desire and your mind should bear only one thought, and it was about healing them. Closing the wound. Purging the fever. Keeping death at bay.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was easy when it was with unimportant people. When you didn’t know their names or ages, or if they didn’t have family and friends waiting for them to wake up. You’ve done this so many times you didn’t even need to concentrate to start the technique.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>That time, however, you struggled as it was your first time. You had to fight your own body to do its work, but you had to take care not to spend much energy on this. As your last resort, you had to appeal to your early training method.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Heal him.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Close the wound.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Purge the fever.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Keep death at bay.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You repeated the mantra – with your mouth and your heart – until your hands stopped trembling. Soon, the whole room was silent. When you opened your eyes again, you released the sigh you have been holding.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The wound was closed; a dark mark that crossed Madara’s body was all that’s left. He was no longer struggling to breathe, and the fever diminished. The green light vanished as you moved your hands away, tired but relieved. The boy was going to survive.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You organized your things, but didn’t take them with you. You stood up and walked toward the door.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>- The fever is going to disappear before tomorrow, but he lost too much chakra – you explained, glancing to the child sleeping right behind you – He needs to rest. I will see him again in a few hours.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You opened the door and went to the porch, breathing the fresh, cold air of the night as if you haven’t done it in a long time. Now it was you who needed some rest.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You walked to the grass and were in the middle of the way when you noticed he followed you. So he didn’t stay with his son? Suddenly, the conscience of being followed awakened all the feelings you were containing to perform the healing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When you turned back to Tajima, you had nothing for him but rage.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After taking care of the young Madara in his worst moments, you made sure he would recover. You left him sleeping and hoped his father would stay with him, since you told him you'd come back in a few hours to see how things were going.</p><p>However, there were some things Tajima wanted to discuss with you besides his son's treatment.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, if I wanted to give reader Tsunade vibes in this one? Absolutely!! XD I love that Tsunade is a strong character in many senses beyond the physical and would love to see a man like Tajima dealing with someone like her, so reader is here doing this favor for us :)</p><p>NOTES<br/>- Intense angst here waiting for you boys</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>He opened his mouth to say something but gave up at the moment he looked at you. What he saw in your eyes stopped his words even before they were formed and he took a small step behind as if it had the strength to push him back to the room he just exited.</p><p>However your reaction didn’t justify his apprehension, for you just took a breath and asked a simple question.</p><p>- Won’t you give me a moment to rest?</p><p>There was more in those words that you were wiling to explain, so you counted on him to understand that. Disturbing your peace by forcing more and more people to come at your door seeking for help just to maintain a senseless politics was nothing to him; he needed to do something more serious, something more <em>stupid</em>. He needed to drag his own children to those lands soaked in blood and make you clean the inevitable mess. And for the child, for your principles, you did it.</p><p>But wasn’t it just enough? Didn’t he ask enough from you already? What else did he want?</p><p>By the way he was staring at you now, the answer to all those questions were no. He was done with you, not yet. And his next words only confirmed it.</p><p>- I just came here to thank you for coming… for saving him.</p><p>No, you could stand many things, but not this. His words, his tone, his look – he was acting like he knew how hard it was for you to come and save a child he had with another woman when he actually didn’t know anything about it, because it wasn’t him who suffocated his pride in the name of his mission, it wasn’t him that was replaced by someone else while his lover just moved on to live a life that he was supposed to share with them, it wasn’t him that had to watch you turn yourself into a stranger all over the years.</p><p>You took a step toward him. From all directions, you were both surrounded: on one side you had the house; on the other three, the wood walls and some trees. That place looked less like a yard and more like a battlefield in which you made your first move.</p><p>- Saving him? I was making amends after your mistake!</p><p>His voice trembled when he replied.</p><p>- What do you mean, my mistake?</p><p>- Do I really need to tell you?! – you almost spat your words.</p><p>Tajima became serious. At least that time he knew where you were leading the conversation to.</p><p>- Y/n-san, I respect you as a shinobi and a doctor, but if you are going to discuss a political issue right now…</p><p>- I am discussing a life here! – you interrupted – I can’t believe you are so blind that cannot see that! How much you’ve changed, Tajima – your voice cracked a bit with what you said next – I can barely recognize my friend inside this shell.</p><p>Something in the way he replied showed that part of him wasn’t immune to that fact. But maybe things went too far for this to make a difference now.</p><p>- Changing is not the problem, y/n – as a response to the way you called him, he dismissed the formal treatment for the first time – Stubbornness is. And you know that.</p><p>You gave him a sarcastic smile.</p><p>- So that’s how you call valuing life now? I’m not even surprised to hear that.</p><p>He raised his voice.</p><p>- Am I really blind, when it is you who refuses to see that if we had things your way, our enemies would have already invaded our territory, burned our houses and spilled our people’s blood! You are lucky that the thing that separates you from death are our soldiers!</p><p>At that moment, anything you might be feeling was replace with pure anger; you clenched your fist and smashed the old tree that was beside you. The huge trunk, once just one body, was divided in two as its center cracked in thousands of splinters.</p><p>- And your child is lucky that the thing that separated him from death was me!</p><p>He held his breath as you raised your fist. After all that time, you still had that monstrous strength in your hands. But he was still the head of the clan, so he had to stand his ground.</p><p>- If it is my gratitude what you want, then know that you have it. But this does not change reality. We are still at war. We still have to fight!</p><p>- <em>You</em><em>r</em> gratitude? You have no part in this, Tajima. I did it for the boy, and the boy alone – you pointed a finger at him – You have no right to thank me when you are the direct responsible for what happened to him!</p><p>His voice lowered a bit.</p><p>- And since when you care so much about another woman’s child?</p><p>Your eyes burned, but not with tears: your Mangekyo Sharingan was activated in response to his bitter words.</p><p>- Since his mother is no longer here to protect him from his father, a man who I once loved and who became nothing but a coward!</p><p>When the word <em>coward</em> left your lips and reached Tajima’s ears, you weren’t able tell if it caused more pain in your or in him. You saw the change in his eyes, the black in them giving space to the reddish pattern of his own Mangekyo. Since he rarely activated it in face of a fellow clan member, you understood this gesture as a response to your challenge, a sign that he accepted to fight to prove his point.</p><p>It has been a while since the last time you two fought against each other, but you knew well that it wasn’t for no reason that Tajima was the current Uchiha head: he has been a formidable shinobi since his youth, and your respect for his ability made you prepare yourself the best you could for the imminent conflict.</p><p>He was the one who made the first move. He started running at you to inflict a physical attack, from which you defended yourself in time: he was still as fast as before, and despite not having enough control over his chakra to destroy a massive surface with a single punch exactly like you did, his strength and knowledge of taijutsu was far from ordinary, so that if you could start having problems in case you started to underestimate him. Still, it was better than a fight with swords: that was a style in which you never surpassed him, so you were lucky that he didn’t have his sword with him at the moment.</p><p>After exchanging a quick sequence of punches and kicks as a way to measure your current capacities, you two stepped away from each other to think of a better strategy. Of course, you were just beginning: two experienced warriors like you would not waste chakra with something less exciting than ninjutsu.</p><p>This time you were the first to act. You made quick hand signs and took a deep breath before expelling a gigantic fire ball toward him. The flames consumed everything in their way before disappearing in the night, leaving the heat and the scent of smoke behind. However, there was no sign of Tajima when their light was gone. And you knew exactly where e was going to appear.</p><p>You turned on your back and put your arms in front of your face, quick enough to avoid the surprise attack he prepared for you, but not to evade before he stroke your ribs with his knee, the sudden pain making hard for you to breathe. You stepped back, but before he could reach you, your body became dark and melted in the air, turning into ravens flying around him, crowding his vision until they were carried away to all directions, blending with the moonless night.</p><p>When he looked down, he found his fists caught by chains that grew from the soil while you came at him ready to finish this. And for a moment it seemed that it worked: you could swear you felt your hand touching his face, you felt the blood coming out from the injury, the chains breaking in thousands of pieces while he fell. But that was not what you saw when you looked around: you just punched the soil, and your fist opened a crater around you, spreading stones and grass at the surroundings.</p><p>You stood up and started looking for him ahead, at your right, your left and finally behind you, where you found him for the second time. However his hands were not empty now.</p><p>You looked into his eyes and saw a bright of what you thought to be tears, but none of them rolled through his face. Blood came out from your mouth as you sensed something crossing your body from one side to another. You looked down and found his sword in your stomach. But how? When he got that sword?</p><p>In a last effort, you took a step ahead, the blade slicing your skin and guts, and raised your right arm. A kunai slipped from inside your sleeve to your hand; you clenched your finger around its base and pointed its sharp end toward him. The kunai was buried in his neck and  he started spitting blood. Your eyes met for the last time, and you two knew that the physical wounds were not the ones that hurt more.</p><p>You opened your eyes at the same time and suddenly there was no longer blood. No longer a kunai in your hand, nor a sword in his. There were only you, standing in front of each other,  your eyes back to their normal black shade, your mouths closed, for nothing was left to speak or explain beyond what you said through your Mangekyo Sharingan. If there was something good that you could take from this, it was that at least you haven’t lost this special capacity of understanding your unspoken thoughts through your dojutsu.</p><p>But that didn’t mean you became able to foreseen impulsive reactions from each other. Otherwise you would have stepped away before Tajima threw his arms around you, bringing you close enough to reach your lips.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You discovered more than you first thought there was still to be discovered with that kiss.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I thought there will be room for one more chapter, but considering how thing turned out, I thought it was better to finishe this story right here. I had some fun with it, first because man how can someone not simp for an Uchiha dude uh? And second because with it I could train my writing skills with mature characters after a long time writing for young ones, which took me out of my comfort zone.</p><p>I hope you've liked this short work and feel free to come back whenever you want :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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    <p> </p>
    <p>Maybe you were deceived and he kept his Mangekyo activated for longer than you, for no other reason could explain why you didn’t react in time.</p>
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    <p>It was too vivid to be a continuation of his genjutsu, yet too senseless to be real. The only thing you knew is that it was happening, whatever it was. A kiss? Yes, a kiss. Tajima got so close to you that if he wanted to kill you, he would already have done it; instead, he just passed his arms around body and maintained the proximity. He didn’t give you time to understand what was going on; he just did it. But it wasn’t like he tried to hide his plan – he seemed to have no preconceived intention. That kiss, you thought – no, you <em>felt</em> –wasn’t something one would think before doing; it came out as an act of raw precipitation.</p>
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  <p>If it were anyone else in his place, you wouldn’t be so surprised: being an Uchiha yourself, you knew the passion that ran in your clan’s veins as much as any of your fellows. However, Tajima had something that many of you haven’t, and that was what granted him the position he occupied now: he knew how and when he needed to surpass the usual tendencies and take control over his own passion, directing it to clear, established goals. Since you were young, Tajima has been the most rational of you two: while your strength was in your attachment to your own principles, he pushed his own towards the collective causes. In other words, you only shared the same goals to a certain point; your visions and ways of acting were too different even to be understood by each other. It was just incredible that you’ve managed to keep mutual respect for such a long time.</p>
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  <p>That was how you figured out that something changed in him after that argument and the subsequent fight. The old Tajima, the one you supposed to know for years, would not hesitate in finishing the job he started, and then you would no longer be there still deliberating. This new Tajima was just… confusing. Was it that way he used to feel about you every time he saw you in action, whether defending your values or healing your partners?</p>
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  <p>Well, maybe this was still the same man, after all. Maybe he was just tired. Tired of what he became, or what he had to carry. Maybe he was tired of fighting you. There was also a possibility that he thought that his words would never be enough to convince you of his truth, so far you were from each other now, so that the only way he could make you believe him was through his passion. The Uchiha passion, something that only another Uchiha would be able to acknowledge.</p>
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  <p>And the Uchiha passion never lied, for you did acknowledge it.</p>
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  <p>You recognized his sincerity in your lips, in every nerve, every heartbeat – and realized you felt exactly the same. In your own way, you were tired of many things. You were tired of being conscious that maintaining your services as a doctor has been keeping the wheel of an endless war turning, yet you couldn’t just stop using your abilities to save your partners’ lives. You were tired of being only able to perform a noble work under such immoral conditions, of seeing the consequences of the maintenance such system every day in the form of blood, pain, injuries and mutilations. Most of all, you were tired of seeing that the person you once saw as your friend, your brother, your soul mate was the primary responsible for this, with enough power to stop it or to keep it and still not seeming to understand what that meant.</p>
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  <p>Yet you couldn’t stop loving him. You couldn’t stop thinking of him, caring for him, coming to save him when things got complicated on his side because that was what you had to do – that’s what we do when we love someone. You just couldn’t forgive him for not being by your side, firm against the decisions of the elders when you would do it for both of you. And yes, you couldn’t stop keeping your heart in pieces since he accepted to become another woman’s husband, to become the father of her children, not yours. In the end, did he ever really loved you? Or was his love not enough, while yours would always be?</p>
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  <p>And now he was there, holding you so tight that your heart could be unified at any moment against your will. And you were so angry at your yourself for letting it happen, for <em>wanting</em> it to happen. Yes, you were really tired and needed to be held. So just for once, you gave in. You forgot about your work, about the young boy sleeping right inside that house behind you, about the clan, the elders, the laws, about everything. For a moment, there was no past, no future – only you and the man you loved, engaged in a breathless, rough kiss just like the ones you’ve exchanged when you were young and new to this, and when you dared believe you knew the paths life had prepared for you.</p>
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  <p>You couldn’t remember who moved away first, if it was you or Tajima. But it didn’t matter; the kiss might have ended, but you remained close, entwined, his arms resting around you, your face hidden on high collar, stained with dry blood that mixed up with the hot tears you could not – and did not want to – hold back.</p>
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  <p>Between one sob and another you whispered something that he didn’t understand at first, forcing you to raise your head and repeat the question.</p>
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  <p>- Did she… ever knew?</p>
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  <p>You didn’t need to finish the sentence for him to know what you were talking about. <em>Did she ever knew about us? About me?</em></p>
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  <p>The answer wasn’t entirely unexpected, considered it was Tajima who gave it to you.</p>
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  <p>- She might have had her suspicions. But she never got a confirmation. Not from me.</p>
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  <p>You released a sigh you didn’t noticed you were holding.</p>
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  <p>- It might sound insensible, but her suspicions don’t matter since she’s no longer here. To be honest, I don’t think they ever mattered. In my own way, I did all I could to be good to her. I’ve never been with anyone but her.</p>
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  <p>You let a muffled laugh escape, and he interrupted himself.</p>
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  <p>- What is it?</p>
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  <p>- She <em>knew</em>, Tajima – your voice came out a bit harsh, but there was no bitterness in you, not anymore – A woman <em>always</em> knows, even if she doesn’t want to. I thought you’ve finally learned to pay attention to your surroundings.</p>
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  <p>He didn’t reply to this. Instead, he changed the subject in a way that left you surprised both with the change itself and the things implied in what he said.</p>
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  <p>- So… In this case I haven’t been as discreet as I imagined in my actions towards you.</p>
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  <p>Actions towards you? But you haven’t even talked in ages.</p>
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  <p>- Actions? What are you talking about?</p>
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  <p>Tajima sighed.</p>
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  <p>- You must know that not everyone is satisfied with your positioning regarding our politics. Some people think you are too loud on your opinions.</p>
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  <p>You rolled your eyes.</p>
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  <p>- Tell me something I don’t know.</p>
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  <p>- Have you never found it strange that nobody had the courage to lay their hands on you despite their hostile attitude towards you? – he replied without changing his tone.</p>
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  <p>You straightened up and blinked twice.</p>
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  <p>- Are you suggesting that…</p>
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  <p>- I’m not suggesting anything – he cut you off – I’m telling you.</p>
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  <p>So he has been doing his part too. Thanks to his influence and practical measures, you have been protected from enemies inside our own clan. He has been working to maintain the fragile balance in a warring period when it was so much easier to just let you disappear with your dangerous ideology. And why? You didn’t need to ask. You knew why.</p>
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  <p>He approached his lips to your ear, giving your own words back to you.</p>
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  <p>- I thought you’ve finally learned to pay attention to your surroundings.</p>
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  <p>Your fingers squeezed the fabric of his clothing even before you realized what you were doing; you pulled him closer in a tight embrace, not wanting to say anything whether to thank him or to accuse him, not wanting to consider what you should do next. Knowing that he has been watching over you from his place, being the thing that separated you from your enemies when you never asked for protection was like taking off a weight you didn’t even noticed you’ve been carrying, and now you weren’t of what to do with your newly discovered freedom. After all the time of endless work to heal, protect and fight for everyone, finally it came your turn.</p>
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  <p>Tajima accepted your affective gesture, caressing your hair while smelling and kissing the top of your hair.</p>
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  <p>- For someone who became a bearer of the Mangekyo Sharingan so soon in your life, you were quick to underestimate the strength of the bonds created by an Uchiha fellow.</p>
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  <p>With face again hidden on his clothing, you smiled to his words and the sensation of new tears rolling through your cheeks and wetting the dark fabric against them.</p>
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  <p>- Don’t be so arrogant – you mumbled – It’s easy to triumph over me when I’m not fighting.</p>
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  <p>It was true that time kept moving and soon you were going to separate from each other, going to your respective places and missions, and your remaining moments together were going to be spent by the side of Madara’s bed, who would wake up within some hours. Yes, it was true that nothing changed except inside you, and with the war not being over yet, you were going to keep walking sideways, never touching each other.</p>
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  <p>But for now, you could live with that.</p>
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